Nonfiction

What We Don't Talk about When We Talk about Fat

What We Don't Talk about When We Talk about Fat

  • Downloads：8819
  • Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
  • Create Date：2021-12-15 20:21:23
  • Update Date：2025-09-07
  • Status：finish
  • Author：Aubrey Gordon
  • ISBN：080701477X
  • Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle

Reviews

Brittany ，

The topic is important and deserves much more than this book provides。 I picked this up because I listen to the author's podcast， Maintenance Phase， and liked the compassion， humor and intelligence she brought to every conversation about obesity and fat-bias。 Unfortunately， this book feels like a transcript of Maintenance Phase。 There's nothing I can't gain from listening to a few episodes。 The topic is important and deserves much more than this book provides。 I picked this up because I listen to the author's podcast， Maintenance Phase， and liked the compassion， humor and intelligence she brought to every conversation about obesity and fat-bias。 Unfortunately， this book feels like a transcript of Maintenance Phase。 There's nothing I can't gain from listening to a few episodes。 。。。more

Katharine Mantzouris ，

Love Aubrey Gordon。 She set me on my path of anti dieting and opening my eyes to the various ！myths surrounding fatness。 A must read for people of all sizes。

Rebecca ，

Painful but thoughtful discussion of how Americans view fatness and fat people， and exactly how messed up that all is。 I'm not sure how much was entirely new to me， but it was worth challenging some of my own assumptions。 Painful but thoughtful discussion of how Americans view fatness and fat people， and exactly how messed up that all is。 I'm not sure how much was entirely new to me， but it was worth challenging some of my own assumptions。 。。。more

Lacey Losh ，

Aubrey Gordon’s sense of humor， honesty， and love of deep-dive investigation in her “Maintenance Phase” podcast led me to her book。 This book is part memoir， part social justice piece， and the causes she champions in this book go beyond combating fat-phobia and anti-fat bias。Favorite quote: “I had spent a lifetime learning not to put my hand on the hot stove of men’s agitation。” -Aubrey Gordon

Vanessa ，

This was such a hard， uncomfortable read because I had to confront my own ingrained beliefs about fat。 We （women especially） have been told practically our entire lives that fat is the worst thing we can be。 But the data indicates that body size is actually a result of multiple factors including genetics， environment， and societal pressure/shaming/stigmatizing。 It is NOT as simple as "calories in， calories out。"Aubrey Gordon uses a mixture of research and personal stories about life as a very fa This was such a hard， uncomfortable read because I had to confront my own ingrained beliefs about fat。 We （women especially） have been told practically our entire lives that fat is the worst thing we can be。 But the data indicates that body size is actually a result of multiple factors including genetics， environment， and societal pressure/shaming/stigmatizing。 It is NOT as simple as "calories in， calories out。"Aubrey Gordon uses a mixture of research and personal stories about life as a very fat person to educate the reader on anti-fat bias。 Most （if not all） fat people experience discrimination ranging from fat shaming and slurs， to being refused medical care and receiving unequal pay。 While biases against LGBTQIA and people of color have decreased over time， anti-fat bias has only increased and is at an all-time high。 The common perception is that fat is a result of a lack of self-control or self-discipline， but research shows that isn't the case。 Fat people are often excluded in discussions on discrimination as well。 Add to that any sort of intersectionality， such as trans fat people or fat people of color， and discrimination is even worse。 This book is an important step in fat acceptance and the basic treatment of fat people as human beings （sad that they even have to advocate for that， but fat people are treated like shit and basic human decency would be a step in the right direction。）Highly recommended， as well as her podcast: Maintenance Phase。 。。。more

Janet Bufton ，

Useful， accessible， and often moving。 Definitely worth the read， especially if you haven't encountered data on weight and health， discrimination against and the experiences of fat people。 Many stories will be familiar to listeners of Maintenance Phase， but there is also lots of new content。As with The Body is Not an Apology， I often disagreed with the author's particulars but found her overall message to be worth knowing and understanding， and was again struck by the level of constructive discom Useful， accessible， and often moving。 Definitely worth the read， especially if you haven't encountered data on weight and health， discrimination against and the experiences of fat people。 Many stories will be familiar to listeners of Maintenance Phase， but there is also lots of new content。As with The Body is Not an Apology， I often disagreed with the author's particulars but found her overall message to be worth knowing and understanding， and was again struck by the level of constructive discomfort she demands from her readers。 。。。more

Littleblackcart ，

Reading this 30 years after reading Shadow on a Tightrope， which I highly recommend， has me pondering the stages of understanding， and what it means to read about topics that are difficult and personal and social and political， that implicate us， that we've already incorporated in some ways and never will in others。 All that is very vague， I know。This book will be very helpful for people who are open and new to understanding how badly fat people are treated， which means how badly we're all treat Reading this 30 years after reading Shadow on a Tightrope， which I highly recommend， has me pondering the stages of understanding， and what it means to read about topics that are difficult and personal and social and political， that implicate us， that we've already incorporated in some ways and never will in others。 All that is very vague， I know。This book will be very helpful for people who are open and new to understanding how badly fat people are treated， which means how badly we're all treated， just as racism and sexism mangle everyone， not just the people who are most obvious recipients。 If you've never thought about fat as an oppression， then by all means read this book （or Shadow， or both）; it is one woman's collection of essays on her experiences， and it is political in the sense that she's taking a clearly defined position。 If you've thought about this topic a lot already， then Roxane Gay is perhaps a more interesting read， and a better writer in my opinion。 Shadow remains my go-to for this topic， if only because the juxtaposition of multiple writers says more to me personally than most single authors are able to。 But I haven't read Hunger yet， so that could change things。 。。。more

Elizabeth Sund ，

I appreciate that my goodreads friend recommend this book about ending anti-fat bias。 People are reading a lot of books about implicit bias， but anti-fat bias is not getting included in those conversations。The Health at Every Size movement has really compelling arguments and scientific evidence， but this book doesn't get too into the evidence too much。 The weakness of this book is the author cherry-picks evidence here and there without tying together a clear argument。 That's okay， because it is I appreciate that my goodreads friend recommend this book about ending anti-fat bias。 People are reading a lot of books about implicit bias， but anti-fat bias is not getting included in those conversations。The Health at Every Size movement has really compelling arguments and scientific evidence， but this book doesn't get too into the evidence too much。 The weakness of this book is the author cherry-picks evidence here and there without tying together a clear argument。 That's okay， because it is not the point of this book to be scientific but rather to share her own personal experiences。 I hope that anyone who reads it goes on to read supplementary materials on Health at Every Size because it is so interesting。 。。。more

Robin ，

I came across Aubrey Gordon from the highly recommended Maintenance Phase podcast （the famous Rachel Hollis episodes 😆）。 Aubrey is a fat lady。 The word "fat" was， in my youth， a pejorative and surely still us in some circles。 But Aubrey and other fat activists have reclaimed it to refer to themselves。 By calling someone curvy or husky or whatever euphemism， it implies that the adjective "fat" is bad or undesirable。 And why should fatness be bad？ Some people are just fat。 Fat as children， and des I came across Aubrey Gordon from the highly recommended Maintenance Phase podcast （the famous Rachel Hollis episodes 😆）。 Aubrey is a fat lady。 The word "fat" was， in my youth， a pejorative and surely still us in some circles。 But Aubrey and other fat activists have reclaimed it to refer to themselves。 By calling someone curvy or husky or whatever euphemism， it implies that the adjective "fat" is bad or undesirable。 And why should fatness be bad？ Some people are just fat。 Fat as children， and despite their best efforts in dieting and exercising， still fat as adults。 After all， in times of feast or famine， having a body that retains adipose tissue is an advantage。 Our past generations appreciated this。 （Think about fertility goddess carvings that look like， well， fat ladies！） We have a smattering of genes that influence size， and some people get more than others。 Aubrey gets very personal， sharing her experiences about being fat as a child and learning early on that other people considered it a personal flaw。 Her family out her on weight watchers and doctors encouraged weight lose from a young age。 This sent her on a years long journey of yo yo dieting and stress。She has been harassed on the street by stangers， been "fatcalled"， had strangers remove items from get shipping cart。 People on airlines are awful to her。 She has been shamed her entire life。 ☹️In addition to the personal insights， we learn a lot of issues in medical science that contradicts the mantra of diet and exercise。 Dieting as actually a risk factor for future weight gain。 It's been known for years that diets don't work， and are bad for your metabolism。 They are also responsible for eating disorders。 We also know that fat people can have anorexia， unfortunately it's often misdiagnosed。 The so called obesity paradox suggests that researchers aren't really understanding that fat can at times be a health advantage， or that people of all sizes can be healthy， or have chronic disease。 Four stars because it rambles a bit and had some weak citations。 Otherwise a very interesting and thoughtful take on discrimination。 。。。more

Cass ，

Read this before you read The Body is Not an Apology to get the numbers and data to do better。 This book will feel familiar and validating for fat people and is likely groundbreaking for other。 Required reading for non-fat people。

Bethany Ellington ，

This book covers everything from medical neglect， general abuse， the heightened vulnerability around sexual assault， the corruptions of the "wellness industry"， to the failures of the body positive movement。 An excellent book for those who are new to these concepts and those who need a reminder。 This book covers everything from medical neglect， general abuse， the heightened vulnerability around sexual assault， the corruptions of the "wellness industry"， to the failures of the body positive movement。 An excellent book for those who are new to these concepts and those who need a reminder。 。。。more

Leigh Martella ，

Excellent and full of information I have never before heard。 An extremely important read。

Eliza ，

So many thoughts， this review is disjointed， TLDR: read it！Well written， well researched book about the prevalence of anti-fat bias， something I’ve only recently begun unlearning myself。 The author’s personal experiences with outright bias were shocking; worse was that her own straight-sized friends would often sympathize with the bully！ It’s so wild how we allow the dehumanization of fat people by judging their choices （which we assume we know）， when body size is largely genetic and institution So many thoughts， this review is disjointed， TLDR: read it！Well written， well researched book about the prevalence of anti-fat bias， something I’ve only recently begun unlearning myself。 The author’s personal experiences with outright bias were shocking; worse was that her own straight-sized friends would often sympathize with the bully！ It’s so wild how we allow the dehumanization of fat people by judging their choices （which we assume we know）， when body size is largely genetic and institutionally environmental。 “Anti-fatness is not the result of an active choice to wield it， like some biological weapon。 No， anti-fatness is a passive default。 We are all it’s carriers。 We breathe it in every day。” - Aubrey Gordon 。。。more

Cass ，

A must read for thin and straight sized people。 This book highlights what y'all should know and what fat folks know too keenly。 If you want to be an ally to plus size people， this book is for you。 A must read for thin and straight sized people。 This book highlights what y'all should know and what fat folks know too keenly。 If you want to be an ally to plus size people， this book is for you。 。。。more

LdyGray ，

Aubrey Gordon is a clarion voice in the push for inclusive activism。 If you're a dedicated listener of Maintenance Phase， this book expands on many of those discussions （and if you're not and this book sounds interesting， check out her podcast， it is excellent）。 My only complaint is that I wish Gordon narrated the audiobook herself！ Aubrey Gordon is a clarion voice in the push for inclusive activism。 If you're a dedicated listener of Maintenance Phase， this book expands on many of those discussions （and if you're not and this book sounds interesting， check out her podcast， it is excellent）。 My only complaint is that I wish Gordon narrated the audiobook herself！ 。。。more

Skylis ，

amazing， enraging。 Gordon offers strong arguments with numerous examples to back her up。 she balances ideas with evidence， research with grounding personal stories。 she explains ideas clearly and concisely， with some repetition to solidify ideas。 repetition rarely felt like filler。 her work explicitly includes unique body discrimination struggles faced by people who are not or not only fat: trans and non-binary people， disabled people， and people of color。 some of Gordon’s media examples weren’t amazing， enraging。 Gordon offers strong arguments with numerous examples to back her up。 she balances ideas with evidence， research with grounding personal stories。 she explains ideas clearly and concisely， with some repetition to solidify ideas。 repetition rarely felt like filler。 her work explicitly includes unique body discrimination struggles faced by people who are not or not only fat: trans and non-binary people， disabled people， and people of color。 some of Gordon’s media examples weren’t totally clear to me—i didn’t follow the argument that uncle Phil in Fresh Prince is marked with the characteristics of a working class Black man despite his education and career accomplishments。 in the final chapter， Gordon includes clear goals and actions for readers to contribute to body justice， including policy recommendations such as universal design， drug testing that includes fat people， and banning size discrimination。in all， an accessible， moving， convincing read。 。。。more

cat ，

This book， along with Hunger by Roxane Gay， The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor， and Fat， Pretty and Soon to Be Old by Kimberly Dark are what I would ask you to read if you want to understand what it is like to live in my body in a world that punishes fatness and to imagine what a different way forward rooted in liberation could look like。

Kristy Diaz ，

Smart， sharp， radical and generous。 Essential reading。

Claire ，

Excellent。 Everyone should read this， but particularly ALL medical staff。 I learned a lot reading this but I would have loved an additional chapter on current research - Aubrey mentions the NOMI research that there are 59 types of obesity and I'd love to have read more about this。 Off to research a bit more！ Excellent。 Everyone should read this， but particularly ALL medical staff。 I learned a lot reading this but I would have loved an additional chapter on current research - Aubrey mentions the NOMI research that there are 59 types of obesity and I'd love to have read more about this。 Off to research a bit more！ 。。。more

Brian ，

Concise， clear detailing of systematic mistreatment of fat people， as well as the interpersonal bias perpetuated upon them told via combination of personal anecdotes and summarization of studies and data。 Our US culture is shitty to fat people， and people/systems are justified in treating fat people shitty because of misinformation about the connection between body weight and health， as well as cultural beauty standards。 Gordon's writing is easy， like a friend sharing super interesting stuff the Concise， clear detailing of systematic mistreatment of fat people， as well as the interpersonal bias perpetuated upon them told via combination of personal anecdotes and summarization of studies and data。 Our US culture is shitty to fat people， and people/systems are justified in treating fat people shitty because of misinformation about the connection between body weight and health， as well as cultural beauty standards。 Gordon's writing is easy， like a friend sharing super interesting stuff they've learned， and I'd recommend this quick read to everyone。 。。。more

Melissa ，

I can tell the author's heart was all in。 There's a lot of data and research presented， but her personal stories are where the book shines most。 It was well done， if a bit dense。 In glad I read it， but I'd be more likely to recommend Roxane Gay's "Hunger。" I can tell the author's heart was all in。 There's a lot of data and research presented， but her personal stories are where the book shines most。 It was well done， if a bit dense。 In glad I read it， but I'd be more likely to recommend Roxane Gay's "Hunger。" 。。。more

Doreen ，

I’ve been listening to Gordon’s podcast， Maintenance Phase， since it first came out and was curious to check out her book。 I highly recommend this work as it is not only remarkably well written， but also a useful call to action for fat activism。 It includes a basic primer on industrial design that excludes and harms fat people （including， famously， the ever-narrowing airplane seat）， the various toxicities of the diet and wellness industries， street and sexual harassment， fatphobia among healthca I’ve been listening to Gordon’s podcast， Maintenance Phase， since it first came out and was curious to check out her book。 I highly recommend this work as it is not only remarkably well written， but also a useful call to action for fat activism。 It includes a basic primer on industrial design that excludes and harms fat people （including， famously， the ever-narrowing airplane seat）， the various toxicities of the diet and wellness industries， street and sexual harassment， fatphobia among healthcare providers （and its horrific results）， and the tracing of fat-shaming narratives and tropes in TV and film。 I very much appreciated Gordon’s reminiscences about her adolescence and adulthood， and her candor about her many， many painful encounters with people’s normalized antifat attitudes。 。。。more

Lindsay Betzel ，

Turns out we’ve been wrong about obesity for…kind of an embarrassingly long time now。 Aubrey Gordon is also co-host of my current podcast obsession Maintenance Phase， on the same topic。 Highly recommend both。

Candace ，

I loved this book， I love the Maintenance Phase podcast， I love Aubrey。The title of the book pretty much gives you what you need to know。 There are studies and statistics in here， as well as a look at the systematic marginalization and judgement of fat bodies， but Aubrey's consistent point is to personalize it， demand dignity and demand the humanity and validity of fat people be acknowledged。 This information and these experiences are coming from a fat person who has lived and experienced the wo I loved this book， I love the Maintenance Phase podcast， I love Aubrey。The title of the book pretty much gives you what you need to know。 There are studies and statistics in here， as well as a look at the systematic marginalization and judgement of fat bodies， but Aubrey's consistent point is to personalize it， demand dignity and demand the humanity and validity of fat people be acknowledged。 This information and these experiences are coming from a fat person who has lived and experienced the world in her body and knows more about how she moves through life and how she is treated by others than anyone else does。 Too often the dialogue about fatness is controlled by straight-sized people （ex: moral panics about "the obesity epidemic"）。I fully acknowledge that I don't know what it is like to live my life in a body society deems "unacceptable"。 Which is why I appreciate Aubrey writing this book， being vulnerable， bringing all the facts。 I don't do anything to "keep slim"， my body is the product of my genetics and I'm certainly not as healthy as I could be。 Which is how I know it's bullshit to consider that people in larger bodies are somehow all making significantly different choices， that someone's size is intentional。 And really， even if it is？ Who cares。 People deserve dignity and humanity no matter what。 。。。more

Laura ，

Loved the approach with a ton of research and fact， along with personal stories from Gordon。 Overall a very impactful book that challenges so much of “wellness” and our broader culture today。

Megan K ，

I wish I could make everyone I know and love read this book。 Absolutely brilliant exploration of a topic that is hardly ever discussed or acknowledged。 This book came closer to making me feel at peace with my own body than anything else ever has。 Thank you， Aubrey。

Sarah ，

One of the most important books I’ve read in a long time。

Shieva ，

Overall great book。 Talks about the many ways society and the healthcare industry fail fat people （especially morbidly obese and heavier）。 I thought the book would include even a small tangential comment on medical conditions （like hormonal， especially insulin， imbalances） that contribute to weight gain and difficulty losing weight。 I don’t see enough of a discussion on this topic when we’re talking about weight。 Additionally， the author kept focusing on dieting stats and how dieting doesn’t wor Overall great book。 Talks about the many ways society and the healthcare industry fail fat people （especially morbidly obese and heavier）。 I thought the book would include even a small tangential comment on medical conditions （like hormonal， especially insulin， imbalances） that contribute to weight gain and difficulty losing weight。 I don’t see enough of a discussion on this topic when we’re talking about weight。 Additionally， the author kept focusing on dieting stats and how dieting doesn’t work…I thought it’s commonly understood nowadays that only lifestyle changes can have a lasting effect。 。。。more

Evan Thomas ，

Some people are simply bigger people it is genetics。 I was fat shamed when I was average weight between 10 and 13。 I can relate to her on so many levels。 However when I got obese which was easy to do at 19 it was my fault。 Just because someone mocks you for exercising doesn't mean you stop。 All those people who mocked her were out of line。 I also think that thinner people have totally different metabolism so can't give advice to someone whose heavier。 Weight loss is about lifestyle changing you Some people are simply bigger people it is genetics。 I was fat shamed when I was average weight between 10 and 13。 I can relate to her on so many levels。 However when I got obese which was easy to do at 19 it was my fault。 Just because someone mocks you for exercising doesn't mean you stop。 All those people who mocked her were out of line。 I also think that thinner people have totally different metabolism so can't give advice to someone whose heavier。 Weight loss is about lifestyle changing you can't drink a cup of Green Tea a day and expect to sustain it it's much harder than that and takes a lot of willpower。 Allowing yourself one cheat meal a week is good for mental health but got to stay on track and some exercise daily it's not easy but I never become 245 again。 Weight can be gained and lost but getting below your healthy body weight is not good。 。。。more

Allison Diaz ，

Eye opening and affirming。 Everyone needs to read this book regardless of how they identify or think that they view others based on size。 Somewhat repetitive in places， but overall， great book that should be in the hands of all。